Date Decoder: Military Intelligence Techniques to Expose What What He's Really Thinking by Gary Hartley & Maryann Brownell

Author:Gary Hartley & Maryann Brownell
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Tags: Personal Growth, ebook, General, book, Self-Help
ISBN: 9781440514586
Publisher: Polka Dot Press
Published: 2008-01-31T21:00:00+00:00

Flirtatious Lies

Some people just love to flirt. They have no intention of the encounter leading anywhere; they just find flirting fun. A lie told in this context is only completely harmless if both parties have the same mindset. A typical setting for this kind of exchange is a Halloween party, where people have adopted new roles by virtue of their costumes. They come in wearing a lie, so why not have more fun with it?

In contrast, a lot of flirting involves intention on the part of one or both parties. In that case, even a flirtatious lie takes on very negative connotations. Sure, it’s common to embellish a little, but when the stories misrepresent you or him in a way that affects your next step, you are headed down a dangerous path. (“Are you free?” “No, but I’m cheap.” This bald-faced truth is intended to be flirtatious and cute while at the same time disarming the fact he is cheating.)

To try to figure out whether or not intent is present, start by assuming that he is flirting without intent until he takes action to establish intent. He might do that by saying, “This has been fun. Here’s my card. I hope you will call or e-mail soon because I’d like to see you again.”

In the following scenario, a woman approaches the man. This is not something to avoid necessarily, but keep in mind that if a woman does that, she immediately diminishes any guilt about first contact that a married or committed man might have otherwise had. After that, the woman in the scenario makes the mistake of projecting her intentions on him.

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